MY girlfriend won't allow me to have an with her (Long)?

You sound very considerate. She is not matching your level of effort in the relationship, for sure. I understand that there is much more fear of pregnancy for females (as men don't actually have to deal with the childbearing and raising on a daily basis if they choose not to). However, she is taking this to the extreme. How on earth can she get pregnant from or manual play? Also, if she is 21 and still afraid of going on the pill because of her mother, she sounds very immature. Planned Parenthood is great for students and such and its fairly easy to be discreet. If she has other reasons for not being on it (religion, hormonal sensitivity), I understand. But that's a lousy excuse. You've got to find a constructive way to talk about this. If you can't, then you won't be able to talk about any issue and how long can be put up with being taken advantage of. Don't make ultimatums or point fingers ... but try to ask her why she isn't interested in full-fledged ual intimacy, in which both partners are pleased. It shouldn't be a one way street. Would she allow you to finish yourself off in front of her? Maybe that would ease whatever is going on in her mind right now.